Get Better at Flirting?

Flirting is a difficult subject for everyone, plagued with mystery and consternation. We feel about blindly in the dark and when we are successful we’re never really quite sure why. Is she not interested? Was she looking at me? Should I go over there and talk to her? Should I buy her a drink? It is never easy to understand out what someone else is thinking, but there are ways to make an educated guess and not get shot down too often. Flirting is a tool you have to recognize first, then try out until you figure out what works for you. Even the best aren’t always successful, so just enjoy the ride. Dating advice is just that – advice. Sometimes it works, sometimes you crash and burn.

The difficulty most people have with flirting begin with the other person – “is he flirting with me?” Figuring out whether someone is flirting with you is no easy task, but I suggest you try and evaluate things as objectively as possible. Are they focusing most of their attention on you? Are they “hanging on every word” you say? When you talk about a subject you like, are they asking questions despite not showing any other interest in the topic? Or when conversation slows down, are they trying to find out more about you, how you tick?

How they behave towards you Niteflirtsignin important, are they laughing with you, smiling, and most importantly of all, touching you? Physicality is a “touchy” subject because everyone has different level of touchiness – some people are naturally very touchy while others are not, and signals can get crossed in the interpretation. Touching someone on the upper arm or shoulder, for example, is usually OK, but some people are only OK with that if you know each other well. Eventually you may realize that flirting goes on all the time. People are constantly flirting with each other as they interact, it’s just a matter of whether both parties decide to take it to the next level, usually implicitly.

Once you’ve recognized that someone is flirting with you, all you have to do is keep up the good work! Easy, no? If only that were the case. How do you respond to flirting? Just do exactly what I wrote above in reverse. Show interest in the other person. Get them to talk about themselves and their life. Show off your interest in them, make them the center of your attention for a couple minutes. The key, though, is not to go overboard. If you push the limits too far then you’ll come off as someone who’s trying too hard. It’s a fine line to walk, but you’ll figure it out soon enough as long as you put yourself into as many flirting situations as possible.

People may resist calling it such, but flirting is a skill. It’s a matter of noticing your interest in someone, noticing that interest flowing back to you, and confidently proceeding together without necessarily acknowledging so out loud. We don’t think of it as a “practice makes perfect” subject, but it definitely is. Many years ago I had trouble telling if someone was flirting with me to save my life, but now I know almost instantly, and flirting back is just a matter of getting into the flow of things and having a good time. It truly becomes effortless after enough practice – after enough effort, strangely enough. There’s no single way to flirt, everyone has to find their own style, but once you do you’ll see their eyes light up.

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